When I came into recovery I came in with the clothes I had on when I went to jail and nothing else.

I went straight to my 1/2 way house(my last) with nothing but the knowledge that I was done!

Finished with my old way of life, old friends and sick family.Old job with it’s degrading, immoral lifestyle.

Old places and people and things just have no place in my new world.

But I like most people have no clue as to who I am without using.

I like most conformed to whatever and whom ever I was partying with at the time.

I had many issues with staying away from these old people and even new ones that were not healthy for me to be around.

I had to take public transportation to and from my many court ordered programs.

The buses were hell because no matter where I was going I either saw someone I knew or there was someone trying to catch my eye.

I was in a Christian 1/2 way house so the Bible was a big part of our program which for me was not a problem because I had picked up a Bible and really started read it for the first time while in jail.

I started carrying a small one sent to me by “The Christian Bikers Association” called “Hope for the Highway” Very fitting for my travels and whenever I was on the bus/train or just waiting I kept my nose in it. Well it worked pretty well until one day I saw a “close” acquaintance from the streets and he was determined to talk me out of my appointments for the day and “Have some fun”.

Well when I refused repeatedly he became verbally abusive, telling me how I had not changed and never would. He knew of the life I used to lead and that I was just bullshitting myself and him by not just giving up and going to use with him. It was pretty bad.very..VERY loud and he finally got off the bus.

What was amazing was the next few passages I turned to…I was just blindly thumbing the pages because I was very flustered and people were staring by now.

This was the next verse…

Peter 4:3

“For you have spent enough time in the past doing what pagans choose to do—living in debauchery, lust, drunkenness, orgies, arousing and detestable idolatry. 4They think it strange that you do not plunge with them into the same flood of dissipation, and they heap abuse on you.”

This was what had JUST happened to me ! I was freaking out and looking around…weird!

That dude had just done that very thing to me ! He had thought it strange that I did not “plunge” into my old habits and get off that bus…I too felt the shift inside me. I was shifting over to a new  “gear” in my recovery. There was no way I was getting off and I wanted..needed a way to express this openly because I am a very easily intimidated person. My self esteem was and still is not that great and when someone makes a comment I start second guessing myself. But I knew in my heart my recovery was something I needed to stand up for.

Then I read this……..

Ephesians 6:10-18 (New International Version)
The Armor of God

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.”

Now I have faith in my higher power that is very strong and these two verses had me thinking.
What could I do to deter these old people/places/things from interfering with my fight for recovery?
It started with just one tee shirt that said “keep it simple” and it grew..and grew and now I consider my “recovery wear” my Armor..

I wear it just about everyday….EVERYWHERE!

Something new started inside me also.

Every time my attire starts a conversation about my recovery or just recovery in general I grow stronger..my faith in myself is stronger…the work I do becomes easier..my desire to change becomes more resolute.

The “wrong” people look the other way instead of trying to catch my eye..

My reputation is changing. Recovery is changing my reputation….My “Recovery Armor” has become my power.